EP53 When the Heart Breaks Twice: The Pain of Post-Divorce Breakups

After a divorce, many of us expect the worst of our emotional struggles to be over. But, as I've come to understand through my own journey and conversations with others, the first relationship after a divorce can bring a heartbreak that’s unexpected and uniquely f*cking painful.

In this episode, I dive into why this post-divorce heartbreak can feel even more intense than the divorce itself. I explore the emotional layers involved, from unresolved trauma to the pressures we put on ourselves to find happiness again. Most importantly, I discuss ways to navigate this pain and use it as a catalyst for healing and growth.

I hope you take something away from the episode, and please, if you do enjoy it, please please please help a gal out and rate and review the episode! Thank you 🥰

And if you’re ready for next level healing and truly turning the divorce plot twist into a magical happily ever after, why not come and join us in the Divorce Book Club….

We start September’s book on 1 September but all back episodes are there for all members to catch up if you need it.   

So September’s book is….. (drum roll)

Getting Past your Breakup: How to Turn a Devastating Loss into the Best Thing That Ever Happened to You by Susan J Elliott.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/0738213284/ref=nosim?tag=thedivorceb00-21

The blurb says:

It’s over—and it really hurts. But as unbelievable as it may seem when you are in the throes of heartache, you can move past your breakup. Forget about trying to win your ex back. Forget about losing yourself and trying to make this person love you. Forget it! Starting today, this breakup is the best time to change your life for the better, inside and out.

Getting Past Your Breakup is a proven roadmap for overcoming the painful end of any romantic relationship, even divorce. Through her workshops and popular blog, Susan Elliott has helped thousands of clients and readers transform their love lives. Now, she’ll help you put your energy back where it belongs—on you. Her plan includes:

• The rules of disengagement: how and why to go “no contact” with your ex
• How to work through grief, move past fear, and take back your life
• The secret to breaking the pattern of failed relationships
• What to do when you can’t stop thinking about your ex, texting, calling, checking social networking sites, or driving by the house

Now, THAT sounds like a super build to me! Do let me know if you want any more details about the book club - or indeed about anything divorce/break-up related.

The link to join etc. is also below ⬇️

Until next week then, sending you loads of love,

Sarah x

🌸

THE DIVORCE BOOK CLUB
 
https://patreon.com/thedivorcebookclub

FREE Guide to the 10 MUST read divorce books after divorce

https://thedivorcebookclub.com/free-resources/

INSTAGRAM

https://www.instagram.com/thedivorcechapter

Chapters

• 1:02 Why DOES the first heartbreak after divorce hurt SO much?
• 6:27 The psychological and emotional factors
• 11:44 Why other people don't get it (disenfranchised grief)
• 16:35 My own heartbreak after my divorce shitshow
• 24:06 A recipe for healing?
• 34:02 You're actually a Badass F*cking QUEEN

Transcript

Sarah Elizabeth  00:01

Hello and welcome to the divorce chapter podcast where we take the divorce shitshow and shake it up, a bit like a snow globe into a magical new experience. Well, sometimes magical, other times just learning to survive, let alone thrive. But either way, we are not getting stuck in a divorce downer. Though today we are going to talk about something that is most definitely not magical when we're going through it, and it's also something that actually isn't often talked about, and that is the first heartbreak after the divorce. Yep, sadly, as if the divorce wasn't bad enough, we can end up doubly down by trying really goddamn hard to put ourselves out there for a new relationship, and then that turns into a shitshow as well. But we don't talk about that, and we definitely don't get the tools to help us when it happens. So today I'm aiming to shine a bit of a spotlight on it and see if we can change that a bit, because we all know that divorce is one of life's most challenging experiences. It can be an utter shit show, defined by loss, by grief and a whole fucking life change, and ultimately, I guess, which is the aim of this podcast. The goal is to heal, to create our next chapter, to rise up like a phoenix from the ashes and all that. But then what happens when, after you've picked up the pieces, you've started to rebuild, you start to see light at the end of the long, dark, miserable tunnel you've been in. And so you think, okay, all right, well, let's see what's out there. Let's see if I can try a new relationship. And then then you go for another goddamn heartbreak. Because the first relationship after a divorce can feel like a fresh start, a chance to love and be loved again. But when that goes tits up, the pain can be even more intense than the divorce itself. Why? Why is that? Why is that, and how the fuckity fuck do we get through it? So we're going to talk about this, the emotional complexities of post divorce heartbreak, why it can hit harder than a divorce, and how you can begin to heal with hopefully a few steps to help you move forward.

Sarah Elizabeth  02:47

So let's start by addressing the core question, the key question, why does the first heartbreak after divorce so goddamn much, And it's a question that people who haven't gone through it may not get, but for those of us who have, well, you know exactly what I'm talking about, right? Divorce is a incredibly painful process, as we know you don't need me to tell you that. It forces us to confront the end of a significant chapter in our lives. It's often a time of anger, confusion, and utter shit show, and eventually, maybe a kind of acceptance as we start to rebuild, but with the first relationship after divorce, that's different, completely different, because it comes with a sense of renewal of possibility. You've done the hard work, and now you're ready to love again. It's potentially even a little bit exciting, if bloody nerve wracking, but it's got a whole different vibe about it, of hope even. And here's where it gets a little bit tricky, because this new relationship often carries with it a huge amount of emotional weight, the old baggage cliche, because after divorce, we're not just looking for a partner. Oh no, no, no, no, no no. We're looking for redemption, especially after betrayal, we want validation, validation that we are still capable of loving and perhaps more importantly, being loved. We enter into these new relationships with such high hopes, believing that this time, this time you. It's going to be different this time. It's going to work. So when that then ends, it's not just the relationship that's lost, it's the hope that we've also attached to it. So the loss ends up feeling like a double blow, one to our heart and another to our sense of self worth, both of which are probably still feeling a bit bloody dented from the last attack on them.

Sarah Elizabeth  05:26

So why does this happen? So let's look at some of the psychological and emotional sides to it, right? Firstly, it's the rebound effect, because unfortunately, not that we want to hear it, but a lot of post divorce relationships can be classed as rebounds. Now rebound in the dictionary is defined as bouncing back after hitting something hard. And you know, maybe it's the harder you were hit, the further you bounce. I don't know, just saying, but you know, after the end of a long term marriage, people often rush, like Usain frigging bolt into a new relationship just to basically fill the emotional void that's been left behind. And there's no judgment. I've been there. The intensity of that rebound relationship can be overwhelming, huge. You fall so damn deep, but it's often pretty much based on a need for comfort rather than the true compatibility. You thought the last one was your one true love. Now you think you found another one. And then when that, perhaps inevitably, ends, that crash is devastating. There ain't no bouncing going on. And I think like the lack of healing time, the lack of recovery time, the lack of allowing ourselves to move through the grief of the ending of the marriage, most likely, all culminate to equal a lack of preparation For the next relationship, we don't allow ourselves the time to work out who the fuck we are, you know, reclaim ourselves and all that. So we're not ready for it. It's not trying to climb Mount Everest in a pair of flip flops with a can of diet coke to keep you going. It's just not going to work, you know.

Sarah Elizabeth  07:39

And we most likely after a divorce, especially a shit show, one got a lot, a lot of unresolved trauma. And if there's betrayal trauma in that, and, oh yeah, and if there's shit that hasn't been dealt with like not feeling good enough, beautiful enough, sexy enough. We might feel inadequate, rejected, abandoned, or we might actually just air quotes, just be absolutely fucking terrified of being alone. And if we go into a new thing with all of that shit hanging around, and then we get hit by the heartbreak train again. All it's gonna do is almost like compound effect, all the shit and all the previous heartbreak to kind of magnify everything. And if you go through another earthquake when you haven't yet rebuilt after the last one, you might sort of think, oh, but there's not as much to knock down. But believe me, it's an earthquake even go down higher on the Richter scale, it's we've got also so many heightened expectations on the next relationship, post divorce, we might be looking to the new bloke to fix us, because we still believe we're broken and we're still looking outside of ourselves for a solution, or we might want to restore our faith in love, or restore our faith in men to prove prove that we're not damaged goods. And when these often ridiculously high expectations, and I speak for myself, there, when these high expectations aren't then met, it can feel like a personal failure, which, as I said, just compounds the pain of the divorce breakup. It makes it bigger, makes it worse. And plus, after divorce, our sense of identity can be a teensy, weensy, bit fragile. We might struggle with who we are outside of our marriage, and so we're kind of looking to a new relationship to be almost like a.crutch helping us to define ourselves. And so when that also then ends, we're forced again to confront our identity crisis head on, which leads to even more deep insecurity and even more confusion, and all of those factors, all of that, all put together, are basically what makes that first heartbreak after divorce feel even more intense than the divorce itself, the perfect storm, as they say,

Sarah Elizabeth  10:41

You didn't think it was possible. And there we go, wham, it's like this weirdly unique kind of pain. And I just, I don't know, I just don't think anyone talks about it really, despite how deeply it's felt, you know. And for those listening who might be going through this right now, just remember your feelings are valid. It's okay to hurt, to feel lost and to grieve this new loss as well. Like it's an additional loss. You need to feel it as deeply as you need to feel it. You're not alone, but other people probably won't get it either. It's like we might have got a lot of sympathy or support or backing in our divorce, but the post divorce breakup, people don't realize it's so painful because they're comparing the length, the duration, the commitment in a marriage to a potentially short term rebound relationship, they're comparing apples and pears. Basically, they're not comparing like for like. So people don't realize it's so painful, and quite often, we then don't kind of get the same support and thought and sympathy through it. Like there's a thing called disenfranchised grief, which is essentially grief that is not widely acknowledged or validated. It's like there's some kind of hierarchy of grief that you're allowed to feel by society. Like deaths up there. Deaths probably the queen of the grief hierarchy. But yeah, then actually, there's probably a death hierarchy as well, like, death of a child's got to be up there. death of a parent, yeah, but Oh, kind of depends on how old they were. A you know, the younger the parent, or just generally, the younger the person that died. That's more grief allowed by the world than someone in their 90s, or death of a pet, not so much. That's not really up there, even if that pet was your bestie, that's not really up there. But death is still higher on the hierarchy of grief than divorce, and then when we've got divorce, if it's considered your fault versus divorce when you're seen as the victim, is that different? Is there a different hierarchy there? You know, with all this fucking hierarchy of fucking grief, what other people expect us to feel the breakup of a short relationship post divorce, is probably way down on their list of what the other fuckers expect you to feel. So we're in this intense, magnified world of pain, but nobody really gives a shit. And we then get the Oh, well, you did kind of rush into it, didn't you, or they say say this is the thing with rebound innit, or other such heartfelt support, not. And you know, some of this may well be fucking true, but we really do not need to fucking hear it. We are hurting. The pain is real.

Sarah Elizabeth  14:24

We thought after the divorce that the worst is behind us, so we start to rebuild our lives, and we've filled up with ready to date again, and we're so hopeful for a fresh start, and then it's like an extra hard punch in the gut. All that pain we thought we'd left behind is back with a vengeance, with an added slap of fear that we're doomed to be alone and proverbial cat lady. If the divorce hadn't done enough, it then makes us question every goddamn thing about ourselves our life. We start to think it's me. I'm the fucking problem here, this is me. It's all about me when we're not a failure, by the way. I'm just saying it's what we started to think. And it might not even be that dramatic of a breakup either. It's just that we maybe kind of realize they're probably not the one, but it's still hard. And actually, you know, sometimes the quiet endings, if you like, can be pretty hard to accept because there's no closure. It's all hard, you know, it's not a competition. We haven't got ever competition here.

Sarah Elizabeth  15:30

You know, for me, I made the looking back somewhat cray, cray decision to start dating again less than six months after my show. Well, actually even less than that, if you count all the shite that continued to come out for the months after the breakup, but we split up end of December, the first trickle of infidelity rumours started in the January, but between January and March, it was an absolute car crash. Every week brought a new nightmare of some kind. By the first week of April, I met with a solicitor about a divorce. So by the middle of May, of course, I'm totes ready to go on the dating app. Yeah. I mean, I did a whole episode on dating after divorce, which in itself is a mindfuckery minefield, but my entry into dating apps at 40, after being in just the one relationship since I was 17 and never having news dating apps like didn't even have bloody mobile phones when I started dating me ex husband, let alone the internet and bloody tinder. Well, let's just say it was a it was a crash course in what not to do. I did go on my first proper date with a really lovely guy, and we hooked up a couple of times, and he's actually still my Facebook weirdly, but we just weren't compatible. And that knocked me a bit, because I think I probably kind of expected some like Disney happy ever after, after the first bloody match, you know? So I got back up, and I ended up texting a guy for a few weeks, and he was started to put a bit of pressure on me into a date, and I really didn't feel ready, but I ended up agreeing, you know, no boundaries at that point in my life, and on the day of the date, I'd been in court all day for work, and something just didn't feel right, so I cancelled. You'd think that was okay, wouldn't you, but no, I got a barrage, and I mean barrage of missed calls, voicemails, texts from him the entire fucking night, culminating in him taking photos of himself around the village I lived in, and a photo of himself eating at a local restaurant. Thank fuck he only knew the village I lived in and not the house. That was what one might call a lucky escape, but still, you know, I'm there. I'm lonely, I'm empty, I feel rejected, I feel unlovable, and I want the fairy tale, right? So back on the dating horse, one goes to end up chatting with a guy who, within a few texts, he'd asked Did, did you used to go to indoor cricket? And I was like, yes, it was actually where I met my ex husband. Not that I said that. I just dumbly went, um, yeah. Then he went, were you married to my ex's name? And I was like, fuckity. Fuck that was a hairy scary moment, but it turns out, however, that he was a guy I also knew from indoor cricket, but hadn't recognized from the pictures. And I did actually have a crush on him back in the day before I started seeing my ex husband, I hasten to add. So we went on a date, then another day, then another day, and I completely fell for him, hook line and bloody sinker, as they say, looking back, I fell for wanting the fairy tale. I fell for being loved. It wasn't on reflection him that I fell for. He wasn't right for me at all, but it was the idea of what he could be, and I wanted him to be that so much, because that would have solved everything right? Only he turned out to be probably the biggest commitment, phobe I've ever met in my goddamn life. Yes, there were red flags, a lot of them, but I completely ignored them like it was the frigging circus. He was the happy clown. I was the what's the sad one? Pierrot, that's it. Pierrot, the sad act. And it would have been actually dynamite data if you were researching attachment theory, because there's me, classic anxious attachment, desperate to cling on to him, and there's him, classic avoidant. It was an absolute disaster waiting to happen, the epitome of a disaster waiting to happen. So when, after oh my god, about nine months, he decided he just wanted to be friends. Yes, that old chestnut, I was beyond devastated. I it was like I buried all the unresolved grief from the divorce and my ex husband and the betrayal and everything, all the shitshow, everything, I buried, it, buried, buried, buried, buried, buried. And it all came up exploding in catastrophic fashion, and the pain was unbelievable, and it triggered so fucking much for me, leading then to a good few years of trauma responses, ending up with a narc who nigh on bloody destroyed any tiny bit of self worth I had left, and there wasn't a lot believe me. And the grief and the trauma from the divorce was intense in itself, like a raging fire right then the heartbreak from the commitment phobe was basically like a lorry full of fuel crashing into said fire, and the damage from that heartbreak destroyed so much more than the initial fire had on its own. Does that make sense? That's how I felt. So I get it, and I can see now why it happened the way it did, but that has taken me a hell of a lot longer than I needed to to properly heal all of it, the divorce, as well as everything since. And I can see now that each of the key characters in this drama of my life, my ex husband, the commitment phobe and the narc, I see them now as lessons, lessons I may well have never wanted to learn, but actually turned out to be the best lessons I needed, like learning to trust myself, like learning my value and my worth, like understanding and putting In boundaries, like looking after myself first and foremost, but fucking hell at the time, it was hell on earth. 

Sarah Elizabeth  23:09

And I guess that's the thing, isn't it? It's probably quite easy at the time to see the post divorce break up as a setback, as the worst thing, but it is actually all kinds of part of the growth, not that we want to see it at that point, but I suppose every relationship successful or not, teaches us something about ourselves, right? So how do we heal from this kind of heartbreak? And I suppose, look, the process is going to be different for everyone, but I think there are some common steps and themes, I guess that can help guide you through this difficult time. And if you're in the thick of this pain right now, I want you to know there is hope healing is possible, and it's a journey, a trek, a mission, whatever you want to fucking call it, but there are ways to navigate it that can help you emerge from this stronger and more self aware.

Sarah Elizabeth  24:17

So some actionable steps then. So first up, really properly. Allow yourself to grieve both relationships, just like with divorce. The end of a post divorce relationship has to be grieved as well. Don't rush yourself to get over it. Maybe it was a short thing. It may well have been a rebound, but it doesn't take away the pain, the loss, you know, and so whatever others might think, let them fucking judge you. Have to prioritize you, and that means properly allow. Allowing yourself to process all the grief. It's like such a critical part of the healing process, and it's really important to give yourself permission to feel the sadness, feel the anger, feel the disappointment that comes with the breakup, allow yourself to cry, feel that loss and to mourn as well the future that you envisioned with this person, mourn the goddamn hope that's been lost as well. If you don't allow yourself the time and space to do this, then sadly, my love, you're probably likely to dive at first into another sea of sharks and fucking swim for your life. And I know thats shit to hear, but take it from me. It's the only way. In the divorce book club in August, we've been reading it's not you by Dr Ramani Durvasula is all about healing from narcissistic abuse. And Dr Ramani actually advocates a 12 month gap. Yep, a whole year. Bitches, a whole year. And you know, I get it a year of being on your own when you hate it, a year of dealing with the shit rather than distracting from it a year that sounds like I don't hell, but having learned this mistake the hard way, I do have to kind of agree with her. You need the time to grieve, but you also need to take some time to reflect on the relationship and what it taught you, and that's not about assigning blame to yourself or your ex, either of them, but more about understanding what worked and what didn't. What did she learn about yourself and about what you want and need in a relationship? In the dating episode I did, I said about knowing your must haves and your nice to haves in your absolute no nos. You absolutely need to work these out and know where you are, and you need the space on your own to do that, and that reflection is massively, massively valuable in helping you grow and prepare for future relationships. If that's still what you want to do,

Sarah Elizabeth  27:24

And also important is to not go through this alone. Now, whether it's friends, family or therapist, just having someone to talk to makes the world of difference. And I get it as we said, they may not quite understand or acknowledge just how much it hurts, but sometimes just voicing it can help you process the shit far more effectively than keeping it stuck in your head, though, as always, getting all the shit out of your head onto paper brain dump style is great as well. If you do enjoy journaling, like I do, but if you find that your emotions are just too overwhelming, and people around you, your support school don't quite get it, seeking professional help can provide you with the extra tools to cope in healthy ways, just whatever you do, Don't wallow alone, because it can be a Bit of a one way street to self destruct, and another thing to make sure that you prioritize you and your self care. And this is a time to really, really focus on you. What brings you joy? What activities make you feel alive? Get some new hobbies, exercise, spend some time in nature, just simply do things that make you happy. And it's not just about pampering yourself. It's about nurturing your mind and body and soul during a time when you need it the most. And I bet, if you're anything like me that went to the bottom of the list when you were married, and you probably totally sacrificed that in the next relationship, and oh, this is a time to learn to be alone, and as always, alone does not equal lonely. Learning to embrace your own company is pretty much an essential after a double heartbreak like this, it takes time and effort and thought and even a bit of planning, but I promise you, the level of peace you feel when you can find pleasure in being on your own is unbelievable. That part is the magic. It really fucking is, because after a divorce and then a breakup, it's really easy to lose sight of who you are outside of relationship, so use this time to properly, properly, rediscover yourself. What are your passions? What are your dreams, independent of anyone? If nothing else, this is actually a fucking golden opportunity to reconnect with yourself and to build a life that you love, with or without a partner.

Sarah Elizabeth  30:12

That's truly the key building a life that you love, irrespective of a relationship, any good relationship should add to your life. Never, ever take away from it.

Sarah Elizabeth  30:26

A part of the preparation, I guess, if you do want to start thinking about future dating and relationships, however long you leave yourself, is to set boundaries, knowing yourself, trusting yourself, loving yourself enough to not hate your own company. All of that means that you know what you got and want, and when you know that, it's a hell of a lot easier to say a big fat no thank you sir to anyone and anything that threatens that.

Sarah Elizabeth  31:00

So like I've said, set those boundaries for future relationships. What are you non negotiables? What are the red flags that you will no longer ignore? Use these experiences to define what you need in a partner, if you need one at all, and what you're willing to tolerate. Use it as an opportunity to grow as beautiful you, as opposed to letting it add to you feeling broken, even though you're not broken. But I know it feels like it

Sarah Elizabeth  31:30

this shit is not straightforward. It's like fucking Whack a Mole. As soon as you think you've solved one problem, another fucker comes along and screws the game, grieving, healing, even growing. None of it is a linear step by step process. I freaking wish it was.

Sarah Elizabeth  31:46

I love a step by step guide, like I'm a recipe kind of girl. Give me a load of ingredients and no recipe, and I'm screwe. But my daughter in law, she never sticks to a recipe, but yeah, it always turns out beautiful. So as much as I can't give you a recipe for repair after double heartbreak. I can give you the set of ingredients that, each of them on their own, that we've just gone through. Each of them are delicious, if you can just do one thing, I think I've said before, when I was in the depths, one of my besties gave me a plastic wand thing and added a label to it, saying, fix a broken heart. And it's not that easy, sadly, but I promise you, if you start playing with a few of these ingredients and trying and testing, you will end up far more magical than if you don't if you do nothing, you might have good days, you might have bad days, and that's okay. What's important is that you're taking small steps forwards, even if they're small, step by step. Remember, there's no order do whatever the fuck you like. Just take the goddamn steps. And I guess the main takeaway I want to leave you with is a message of hope, like heartbreak, especially after divorce, that double whammy of a fucker can feel like the end of the world. I get it, but if you let it, it's also an opportunity. It's a chance to rediscover you to reconnect with who you are outside of a relationship, or in acronym form, which actually self Minster, get your shit together, S for self care, H for happiness, I for inner peace and T for time, get your shit together. Babes, take this time to explore new interests, new people. Focus on you, your growth. You are not defined by your relationship status. You are a whole, complete person all on your own. You're capable of love, you're capable of joy, you're capable of fulfillment all on your own terms. You know you've survived the divorce, and now you've survived another heartbreak that is no small feat. It's a testament to your resilience and your strength and your capacity to keep trying to move forward, even when the pain is really bloody difficult, you're actually a badass fucking queen. 

34:28

So what's next? You know the future's yours to shape, whether you choose to focus on personal growth new passions or eventually enter into another relationship. Know that you're doing it with the wisdom and the experience that only comes from having walked through the fire and out the other bloody side. You know, you've also got to remember that healing is a journey. That word journey gets on the tits a bit. That is true, and you don't have to walk it on your own. You. There's a community of people out there who have been through exactly what you're going through, who understand your pain and are here to support you.

35:14

And talking of community, we've also chosen September's book over in the divorce book club. Now this is a club that, whilst we never chose to be in it, we can make it VIP status in a club sorting our shit once and for all, we read a book a month, and I record a private podcast for each chapter for members only. There's the key parts of the book. So even if you don't read the book, if you haven't got the energy or the brain capacity to read the book, or the time you get the god and gist from the episodes, the podcast episodes, plus a bit of my own wisdom, for what it's worth, my thoughts, reflections and my own experiences as well. I give all the tea over there water relatable, you know. And there's a Facebook community for members as well, so we can share how we're getting on with each book. And we've all been through it. We're all going through the same shit together. And you know, if you were to take just one thing from each book over a year, you will have changed your life, just as we've talked about the compound effect of heartbreak, this is the compound effect of personal growth and personal development. We can turn the divorce into a snow globe of magic. After all, we can. So why not come and join us for September's book we're doing getting past your breakup, by Susan J ELLIOTT and this book has cropped up on my to be read list a number of times, so I'm taking it as a sign,

36:48

and the blurb on it says it's over, and it really hurts, but as unbelievable as it may seem, when you are in the throes of heartache, you can move past your breakup. Forget about trying to win your ex back. Forget about losing yourself and trying to make this person love you. Forget it starting today. This breakup is the best time to change your life for the better, inside and out, and our plan includes the rules of disengagement, how and why to go no contact with your ex, how to work through grief, move past fear and take back your life. The secret to breaking the pattern of failed relationships, which after this episode, we may need and what to do when you can't stop thinking about your ex, texting, calling, checking social networking sites or driving by the house. Thought that was just me. So get excited. We start on the first of September, and if you have gone through one heartbreak or several of them, this does look like a free and great book for all of us at every stage. So you know, it's a 10 of a month for the book club. It's cheaper than therapy and all,

Sarah Elizabeth  38:03

and that is all for me, for this week, I hope that has helped if you are in the midst of a double heartbreak, or even if you aren't I, I hope it helped. Thank you, as always, for listening. If you have enjoyed the episode, please do take a few seconds to rate and review each episode as it truly, truly helps the podcast get seen by the gorgeous humans who really need to see and if you know of any other gorgeous humans as well who you think would benefit? Share, share, share, share, away. I'll be forever grateful.

38:35

So I will be back in your beautiful earbuds again next week. My love so sending you so much love from me.