EP95: The Terri Reynolds Chapter: Travel as Transformation

We’ve been told travel is the reward…. a break after the chaos, the healing, the rebuilding.

But what if it’s not an escape?

What if it’s the invitation?

This week, I’m joined by transformational travel coach Terri Reynolds, and we’re going beyond the suitcase. Because this conversation isn’t about packing light ….it’s about travelling deep.

Together we unpack:
 ✈️ Why solo travel can be the fastest route back to yourself
 🧳 The emotional baggage you don’t have to carry anymore
 🔥 How geography mirrors identity reclamation
 💡 Tiny ways to create freedom, even if you never leave your postcode

This one is for the woman who’s:
 ✨ Craving something beyond survival
 ✨ Feeling stuck in the in-between
 ✨ Wondering if it’s “too late” to change everything

Terri shares her story, tools, and gentle rebellion… reminding you that you don’t have to wait until life feels ‘stable’ to go after something different. Sometimes, the departure is the destination.

Because travel doesn’t give you a new life. It gives you back the one you thought you lost.

Take a listen and let this episode be your reminder…. Your next chapter might start with a boarding pass… or it might start right where you are, with a single choice to move toward the woman you’re becoming.

💖 Connect with Terri Reynolds

Website: terri-reynolds-coach

Instagram:terri_reynolds_coaching

✨ Like this episode?
Tag us @sarahelizabethcoaching and @terri_reynolds_coaching with your biggest “hell yes” takeaway. We love seeing which moments hit home.

🎙️ And if you're ready to burn the beige, reclaim your fire, and live something Badass AF….stick around.

This isn’t just a podcast.
It’s the permission slip you didn’t know you needed.

With so much love,

Sarah x

🩷

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Transcript

Sarah Elizabeth  00:00

Hello and welcome to the divorce chapter, the podcast for women who look fine on the outside but feel like they're rebuilding from the rubble in secret, this is where we turn betrayal into bravery and remind you that starting over doesn't mean having to start from scratch. And today, we've got a fabulous guest who's turned around divorce plot twist into one hell of a rewrite after a marriage breakdown and years of playing it safe, Terri Reynolds boarded a plane alone, terrified, forty, and carrying more emotional baggage than actual luggage. That first trip cracked her wide open. Since then, she's skydived in Australia, she's backpacked through Southeast Asia, and she's built a business helping women turn their breakdowns into boarding passes. Terri is the host of the Wanderlust diaries podcast, a transformational travel coach, and a woman who knows that sometimes the bravest thing you can do is book the fucking ticket. So if you've ever cried in a hotel bathroom and called it an adventure, you need this Welcome. Welcome, Terri, so excited to have you on.

Terri Reynolds  01:12

Oh, thank you. Thank you so much for having me on as a guest as well. So yes, looking forward to this chat.

Sarah Elizabeth  01:21

Lovely. It'd be lovely. So tell us. Tell us, tell us, tell us. Because I think women are so terrified of travelling solo, aren't they? I did it. I've done it a few times, but the first time I did it after my divorce, well, the ex husband at that point was hounding me quite a lot, and it would have been our 20th wedding anniversary. So I decided I just needed out of the country. Yeah, I wanted to go somewhere, somewhere I'd never been with him, and escape almost. And it was, it was life changing. It was life changing. But what I did, I didn't do all the skydiving and backpacking and things. I went for an all inclusive because I wanted to go safe, because I thought I've never been there before. I need to know the area and all of that. And then once I was there, of course, I was safe, and I went out and about and things. But what happened for you? Tell us about your first solo trip. What led to all of this, this crazy, lovely, happy life you lead?

Terri Reynolds  02:25

I know, well, little bit different. Yeah, so me and my husband split up. And do you know what I was in one of those I was in a rut. It was all about, you know, work, eat, sleep, repeat, oh, my god, on a loop boredom. And I thought I have got to Dunno what, dunno what. But I thought I've got to do something to get out of this. I just can't, I just can't go on like this for the rest of my life. You know, I was 39 at the time, 38,39 and I've been to Greece. I never even been on a girls holiday, you know, I was 38 and I went with a friend to Greece, and we ended up going three times that summer. We loved it so much. I said to her, I said, I am going to take a career break next year, and I am going to come back to Greece, and I'm going to be one of the workers. I'm going to work for six months. Well, that all changed, because I got back to work, and somebody came up to me, who was a colleague, knew of her, and she said, What about these round the world tickets? Do you fancy doing something like that? Never heard of it. I said, anyway, had a look at it. And I started saving and I thought, This is what I'm going to do. So I took a career break for a year from work, which is fantastic. You know, I didn't think for one minute that they would, they would say yes, but they did. So I spent a year then almost saving, you know, to ready to go, ready to go the following year.

Sarah Elizabeth  03:54

So, so like you, instead of a university gap year, you took a divorce gap year. Wow, that's impressive.

Terri Reynolds  04:02

I like to do things differently.

Sarah Elizabeth  04:06

Yeah, I manage a week all inclusive, in Cyprus. You've gone round the bloody world, wow,

Terri Reynolds  04:12

I have to say. I mean, I went through all the emotions, you know, all the self talk of talking myself out of it, you know, what do you think you are? You know, you're 3839 years old. You You remember, you know you're going to be with all the kids. What do you think you're doing? So I had all of that, you know, going going through it, and then it'd be all excitement, and then it'd be like, Oh my god, how am I going to cope? You know, I've never gone anywhere on my own or done anything like that before. So luckily, this girl that come to see me about it, she wanted to go as well, so we spent, I did leave with her, and we spent probably the first six weeks together. So I have to say I might not have gone, actually, if I'd have had to go on my own, and I probably, probably would have done something like you. You know. Yeah, because it is, was a good way to do it, and that's what I tell my clients. Now, it's a good way to do it, but I had to go and buy all the stuff, you know, and I remember stuff in the backpack with all the things and practising walking around the bedroom, because I figured this has got to go on my back. How am I gonna carry this? So that was that was interesting. And leading up to that, I had to have a major operation. I had to have, like, my gall bladder out, oh my God. And I wasn't sure if I was gonna even make it that summer, we were booked to go in the Sept, September, that summer, I was still recovering from the op, and I thought, I'm not sure what's gonna happen here. And luckily, we could put our flight, our departure, back until the end of October, which was fantastic. But so, yeah, so that's a contender as well. I thought, Oh, I don't do things by halves. Yeah,

Sarah Elizabeth  05:52

you really don't do you wow, I don't travel light at all. I'd, so like so me and a backpack. I don't think we'd get along. I struggle with the cabin bag for the weekend on a flight like, you know, it's like, what the liquids in that little bag?

Terri Reynolds  06:11

Well don't forget as well. I did this back in 1999 Yes, before the internet or the mobile phones so I couldn't go online researching anything. I had to take, I had to take rough guide books with me for each country or continent that I was going to carry those great, big thing, you know, one for India, one for New Zealand, one for America, one for Australia, great big books like this. I know. I know so you know, everybody that does it now, they've got it so easy, palm of your hands, whatever you want to know. So if I was moving on anywhere, I would have to research to see where am I going. Where can I stay? Because it would be, you know, when they would be listed all the places to stay in that particular area. And I'd have to ring them to find out if they had any space. And back in the day, then you had these, like, business cards with, like, about 1000 numbers on that you had to dial in there in the phone box. You're gonna have some listeners. Now listen, I understand there's about 11 that probably same as now from all of our phones, but 11 numbers, and if you've got one number wrong, you'd have to start again. Oh my god, you know, oh my God. That's why, that's why I have to do, you know, wow, get to the next place. So

Sarah Elizabeth  07:33

that took a lot of bravery, though, because I think he said you obviously had quite a lot of fear before you you went. But said, It is that kind of pendulum, isn't it? It's like the excitement, the fear, the excitement the fear, the excitement, the fear, and it must have taken an awful lot of bravery to actually, I know you went with someone for the first bit, but yeah, even is, is it's a lot, isn't it taking a year out of,

Terri Reynolds  07:57

I know, just going somewhere like our first our first drop, our first flight, was to India, which is, you know, the culture is so totally different to ours. But that fear, that feeling, I can still feel it now, you know, the sick feeling as I as I left and then got on this plane, and then ended up somewhere where it was totally alien to me. I literally walked to the airport and I thought, I'm in one place. I've come to one place. What have I done? Started panicking straight away, but I have to say that I was in India for six weeks, and I loved it, you know, I once, once I got over the shock of it all, because it is so different and the noise and all that, the first couple of weeks, I loved it, you know, I did. I really, I just embraced it and and, you know what? It's such doing something like that is such a confidence builder, you know? It's a case of feel the fear and do it anyway. Just get out that, get out to your comfort zone, go and do something, you know? And it only was like people say, Oh, you were brave. I didn't feel brave. I got to be honest, I didn't

Sarah Elizabeth  09:06

you don't when you're going through something quite courageous, I don't think you feel brave at the time. Do you

Terri Reynolds  09:12

No, And I think now when I look back at it, now, I was thinking, God, would I do that now, you know, because now, I've got my trusty little phone now, you know, I can just do whatever I want to. Would I do that now, you know, yeah, yeah, but you did now, such a different world. But

Sarah Elizabeth  09:28

so you started with India, yes, tell us about what was it like? What was you, you know, on a day to day basis. What was you doing?

Terri Reynolds  09:36

So, just wandering around, really to start with, like, where do we go from here? And just finding, finding our way and plotting out where we wanted to go then? Because wherever, whenever I left, like when we left Britain to go to India, we made sure that we had somewhere booked. Yeah, when you get to India, you realise doesn't matter. Forget all that don't. The background. So that's what I would do. But yeah, we were just looking through the books. We said we already kind of had a an idea of where we wanted to visit, you know, going to Delhi, into the Red Fort. Obviously. Want to go to the Taj. Wanted to go to Rajasthan, you know, Jodhpur, Jaipur, udapur, no, all of those go down to Goa. We wanted to go over to the other side, you know. And we couldn't, we were ill for probably about 10 days of that. Yeah, sorry, but we made it out alive. We knew we had to get out of where we were staying when we knew we had to get out there. Yeah, magically got better. God, so we would just plot, you know, whatever it is that we wanted to do for the next and how to get there. I know we would need to speak to where we would need to go and book all these things because, of course, again, I had to go into a travel agent or go and speak to somebody you know, to find out about how we could go on a camel Safari, you know, while we were in magistone. So our days were filled. Obviously, this is called 1999 a long time ago. I I kept a journal. You know, I wrote anything, if it was just, I just remember a colleague of mine, because she'd gone to Australia for a year, I think maybe a couple of years before, with her boyfriend. And she said, Whatever you do write, even if it's just two sentences, like it rains all day or something, just write something each day. She said, Because if you don't, you'll be sorry you didn't. And I did mostly that. So that's great. I've still got that, obviously, and I just everything that, you know I was feeling. I got to Bombay, Mumbai as it is now. Are homesick, homesick, and I think the first few weeks is fine, because it feels like you're on holiday, you know, you're not seeing everyone that you normally would. And it's just like being on a holiday, of course, you know, when you get to about a month, oh, I just had this terrible homesickness. And I remember being in the room on my own and saying, beat me up, Scotty, just take me home, you know, for and I also knew that as much as I wanted to just go back and have a cup of tea with everybody, I knew I didn't want to stay, I knew I'd want to come straight back, you know. So it's about how you deal with homesickness and things like that as as you travel through, yeah, so there was a lot of planning. It was like, it's like a mini project really. It was like a big project, really, you know, massive project planning. It all in all the different countries. So, yes, yes, yeah. And Goa was lovely. I loved Goa. 

Sarah Elizabeth  12:29

Everyone talks about Goa being amazing. 

Terri Reynolds  12:32

I tell you what I would have liked to have gotten, which is on my list, but because we were all didn't make it. It's down to Kerala, okay, because it's so much softer down there, and I wanted to stay on a house boat. You know, that's on my bucket list. That is to do that. Yeah, yeah. So, so, yeah. So, as you can imagine, it was something as big as that. You just always looking to plan for the next What's your next move? Where are you going to get the first you're going to get the train, you know? So that you're always thinking until you get there, and then if you plan to stay there for a while, that's a different story. Then, you know, yeah, enjoying yourself and looking around the sites and just visiting places. And we had a guide a couple of times, you know, take us around, yeah, because, obviously, it's great to have the book in front of because it's all in the book, you know, the books I taught. But it's really nice to have a guide as well to take you around and explain things for you.

Sarah Elizabeth  13:33

Definitely, I think that always makes a bit of a difference. One of my best friends is from South Africa, and I've been a few times with her, and even she's obviously from South Africa, yeah, but we'll still go to some places, and we'll organise a guide, because, you know, it's that different on it, isn't it? 

Sarah Elizabeth  13:52

Because

Terri Reynolds  13:53

you can always learn something different,

Sarah Elizabeth  13:55

exactly that. So you went from India. Where else did you go?

Terri Reynolds  14:00

So from there, then we went to Singapore, lovely and stayed there for a few days. I can remember, I mean, it was lovely and clean, you know, very, very polite, lovely place. But what I remember the most from that place is the humidity. Oh, really, as soon as you walked outside, you were just drenched. Oh, my God. It was awful. You couldn't wear anything. 

Sarah Elizabeth  14:26

I'd hate that.

Terri Reynolds  14:27

You just had wet patches all over your clothes. Like, what am I gonna wear? Because you just, literally, you just always, just scrape your hair back. Don't even think about makeup on, you know, whatever is the coolest thing to wear. The humidity was horrendous, but it was a lovely place. Really nice. There was that I was still there st Tugger Island, right? So I remember visiting that, and that was, that was lovely. And I bought myself a little camera there as well. Oh, so you've got, yeah, didn't have one of the. You saying, isn't it

Sarah Elizabeth  15:02

different as well? Yeah, that's even that. Keep in touch. It. You can't just FaceTime someone.

Terri Reynolds  15:07

No, no, no, not at all. 

Sarah Elizabeth  15:08

Go down the phone box and use phone cards. 

Terri Reynolds  15:10

Yeah, exactly, yeah, and God knows what in those days as well. And it was all internet cafes. Yes, of course. You know, you don't really see them now, lovely ever, I don't think, but yeah, they were internet cafes, and you'd go in, you'd book a slot or whatever, and it was, yeah, you know, that was just normal thing to do. That was just a normal thing to do.

Sarah Elizabeth  15:34

Wow, yeah, so Singapore,

Terri Reynolds  15:38

yes, Singapore stayed there for, oh, gosh, can't remember, a couple of weeks, I think, then went on to Bali and spent Christmas there, lovely, because it was 1999 so it was a millennium,

Sarah Elizabeth  15:54

of course, yes, wow. So you spent that in Bali? 

Terri Reynolds  15:57

No, I spent that in Australia, right? Okay, went to Australia. That's where we went those separate ways. I mean, once we got to Australia, and I spent it on a yacht and the Sydney Harbour Bridge, beautiful, I know, drinking champagne, yeah, yes. That's a, you know, something that's never been repeated since,

Sarah Elizabeth  16:20

amazing, yeah,

Terri Reynolds  16:21

so that was my next big adventure. Was Australia then gorgeous, and I stayed there for the whole six months. Did you and had a fantastic time? Yeah, I left when I had to. I got there, I arrived, I think it was the 30th of December, and I left, like the 29th or 30th of June. That was my six months yeah, wow. I had to go. I had the best time travelling around Australia. I bought myself one of these aus experience buses tickets. I don't know whether they still do those, but you go literally all the way around the country, on, uh, hop on, hop off. And there were a couple of flights included in that as well. So obviously it was about 700 bucks and dollars, so much would be now. And yeah, it was great. I just got on the bus, off I went. And, of course, I just met so many people, so many different people. And then when I got to the States, I bumped into a few. When I was in Hawaii, actually, I bumped into a few in 711 this the shops and over there the chain, and I booked it to some people in one of the shops. One of the couples actually that I did a skydive with,

Sarah Elizabeth  17:33

just randomly in

Terri Reynolds  17:35

a shop I was in Hawaii. Yeah, on the island when, when I just walked in and there the box with, I know, yeah, crazy. But as I walked around Australia, I would, but, you know, because I was on the bus lots of people, and I just bump into and I, you know, I've still got friends now from Australia and and America that I met along the way, and we still occasionally speak, you know, not very often these days, because of what, 2526 years ago, so, but we're still in touch so that, you know, so met loads of lovely people along the way. It was, yeah, it was fun.

Sarah Elizabeth  18:12

So what was it like in terms of, because, obviously, you just got divorced, right?

Terri Reynolds  18:16

Yeah? Well, yeah, we do at that point. I was actually separated, yeah, been separated about three years.

Sarah Elizabeth  18:23

So where were you in terms of being emotionally after the separation?

Terri Reynolds  18:29

I was I was over the marriage in one way, in one sense, but in another sense, I wasn't, because I couldn't believe it had ended. I just couldn't believe it. And I, you know, I didn't actually go on a date or anything for probably about eight years. Bloody hell, wow, because I just couldn't, you know, and I was the one who wanted the separation okay. Because, just because it gone the way it had, and there was nothing bad. It was just we gone our separate ways. Tried to make it work. And I put everything into it, everything, everything, let's go to marriage counselling, all of that. He came once with me. And so, you know, tried everything, nothing really worked. And it wasn't until I got back after travelling that I even had any idea of dating or being with anybody else. And I think that being away kind of mended me a little bit in that, in that respect,

Sarah Elizabeth  19:31

that's what I was wondering. Yeah, I think perhaps in our minds we go away to think we're going to escape, but actually we kind of end up remembering who the fuck we are.

Terri Reynolds  19:44

Yes, yes, yeah, yeah. I think I needed that. Yeah, I could just be me for you. I didn't have to be anybody else. I didn't have to be somebody in work. I didn't have to be a mother. I didn't have to be a daughter. I didn't have to be a sister. I didn't have to be I didn't have to be anything, you know, I could. Let's just be Terry, be authentically me. And I think that was probably the most freeing time of my life. That's amazing, yeah? And opened up a whole load of opportunities. Then when, when I got back, and I know for a fact that if I hadn't done that, I wouldn't be where I am today. I know it wouldn't, yeah, yeah. So it was the transformation for me after spending that time away, was came back. I came back to my job, knowing I can't do this. Can't carry on doing the same role. I in the NHS. I stayed in the NHS, but I knew I wanted to do something different, and so I took myself off to uni. I hadn't done that so I, you know, like I said, I like to do everything else, backwards

Sarah Elizabeth  20:47

and stuff first.

Terri Reynolds  20:54

Yeah, so I went to uni and I did my PGCE first. Again, seems differently. You know, most people do their degree and then a PGCE.

Sarah Elizabeth  21:03

You did the PGCE first 

Terri Reynolds  21:05

I did, I take a one module from the PGCE, did that, see what I thought of it. And I thought, right, I will do this. Did the PGCE in uni. And then thought, well, I need to learn how to teach that. I've got to do something about that. No, because although I've got my PGCE, I don't know where to start. So then I did my degree in education, okay, right after that. So I spent four years, two years on the PGCE, and then two years on my degree, and got one, you know, for somebody who didn't really have any qualifications. Amazing. I was like, Yes, I can see I'm not stupid. I am intelligent.

Sarah Elizabeth  21:43

Stories we tell ourselves, yeah, yeah.

Terri Reynolds  21:46

So, you know, the transformation was there for me for that, you know, I just knew I couldn't carry on doing exactly the same thing. So I did that. Within a year of being back, I ended up training staff on systems, you know, computer systems and all, all that skills, presentation skills, all that type of thing. So it took me in a different direction. It was great. And that's what I love about the NHS, you know, it's so diverse you can start. I started off as a band too. I was a clerical officer, you know, on a band two part time, and that yet all these opportunities are there for anybody who joins the NHS, so, so I've been very lucky, and that's what I did. I just went back and said, No, no more of this. I was the secretary for a consultant urologist when I left. The rest they say, is history, you know, ever since, I've always liked learning, but ever since then, I haven't stopped. I just haven't stopped, you know, yeah,

Sarah Elizabeth  22:40

carry on. Well, that's how we met, isn't it originally? On a course, yeah. So it is that life changing transformation, isn't it? It's not air quotes, just travelling, it's the transformation that came with it truly, obviously changed for you, particularly after a divorce as well. Yes, I think there's a lot of cliches, isn't there we go and sort of find ourselves on the beach, Margarita and, yeah, and it's all a bit, you know,

Terri Reynolds  23:09

Just go to Greece and sit on a beach. 

Sarah Elizabeth  23:11

Yeah? So many cliches, but that's the side of it, isn't it? It's not, as I say, air quotes, just the travel. It's yeah, that transformation in you as a person, finding yourself again, remembering who the fuck you are, without all the roles in your life, and then coming back and going, actually, do you know what this I'm going to do something else.

Terri Reynolds  23:36

Absolutely, absolutely. I knew there was nothing else for it. I knew I'd have to do something to get me away from what I was already doing, because I didn't want to go back to the, you know, the eat, work, sleep, repeat,

Sarah Elizabeth  23:50

eat, shit. Sleep,

Terri Reynolds  23:55

yeah, yeah. So I thought, you know, I don't want to go back to that and and I haven't, so that's been my way forward, 

Sarah Elizabeth  24:03

amazing.

Terri Reynolds  24:05

I just, you know, for travelling, for me, I didn't really do a lot after that. I've got to be honest, I didn't, and it's only been the last few years, I suppose that I've started going off so low again. But, you know, I went to Thailand and went to Africa, all that sort of stuff, you know. So I've been down the Caribbean on the cruise and all that sort of thing, but I just, there's just something about sort of travelling that I love. You know? There's just something about being on your own. And it doesn't necessarily mean I want it every holiday on my own forevermore, because it's not. It's just something very freeing about being on your own, when you and when you go away, even if it's only I took myself off to the Cotswolds in February or March, was it? Yeah, I just wanted to go and, you know, have a look around. And I just, you know, always loved it. And I just decided to go two or three nights. I thought I'm off, I go. So that's what I did, yeah, and I just went so it doesn't have to. Be that, you know, get on a plane and fly for 10 hours for it to be like, Oh, I'm still travelling. You know, it hasn't got to be,

Sarah Elizabeth  25:06

yeah, that's true. So what do you wish that women knew about travelling solo? Because there'll be people listening that maybe just going through a divorce or been single for a while, and, you know, I know some people that are still scared to go into a restaurant on their own, or exactly don't want to go into a bar on their own, and that's what people will say to me, you know, but how do you do that? Because I don't want to do that. And actually, where, where do you go from someone that isn't able to go into a bar alone to then being able to travel alone, that's quite a big leap, isn't

Terri Reynolds  25:47

it massive? Yeah, and it's, you know, it's all for me, it's all about the small steps. It's little steps. So if you really are, you know, you really want to do it, but you're really concerned because you don't want to be on your own. Just go to your local coffee shop that you normally go with your friends, and go in there and sit down with your coffee and just sit in there and stay there. You have to stay there for 10 minutes. You can then leave, but just do it for 10 minutes and then do it again, go to a different coffee shop, stay a bit longer. So it's those little steps. And once you get used to doing that, then go to the next city, go to the next town, go to the next village, and do that. And then, if you're used to driving, don't drive, get on a bus and do it on the bus. You know, it's all about the little steps that build up. Because once you've done it, it's amazing. Because once you have it's like, yes, I've done it, yes, yes, yes. Where am I going? You know,

Sarah Elizabeth  26:49

it's true, isn't it?

Terri Reynolds  26:51

And then, you know, and then go and take yourself off, you know, go to the Cotswolds, for example, you know. And just go there for a couple days, wherever you're living, just go, say, 20 miles down the road and stay one night in a hotel on your own. And if you're worried about sitting there for dinner on your own, have a book. Have an iPad. Have something that's going to distract you, because I'm telling you now, all you want to do is people watch anyway, so yeah, have it on the table, by all means. So you look like, you know, everybody thinks, if you're worried about it, everyone's gonna think, Oh, she's having a read. And believe me, no one's looking at you.

Sarah Elizabeth  27:30

No one is looking at you. I know it will feel like you're walking in and it's like, you know, like the old cowboy films when, yeah, that's what you think is happening. But it's not, but it's, yeah, it's terrifying, isn't it? Because you think, oh my god, Everyone's looking at me. I totally have my head down in a book and all of that, because it is, you know that, and that's pretty much the advice I give as well. It is those small steps. But once you've done it, you do realise very, very quickly that, yeah, no one is looking at you. And actually, I people watch a lot, and what I find quite entertaining is probably the wrong word, but I would look at couples, yeah, and they will sit in there, not talking to each other on their phone. Sorry, I'm actually having way more fun on my own than you two are, 

Terri Reynolds  28:26

yeah, and if anybody's looking at you, it's people like them looking at you, wishing they were you. You, believe me, they're wishing they were you.

Sarah Elizabeth  28:35

Yeah, all the women I did have one holiday alone where I was sunbathing by the pool, and a lady moved her husband because I moved for the sun, because, you know, gotta be in a certain spot, yeah, and I went and laid on this free sunbed. There wasn't any sunlight, just free someone has laid on this free one, and this woman moved her husband away from me. God, what's a single woman on her own. What do you think I'm gonna do?

Terri Reynolds  29:05

It is quite funny, if you really do like people watch, yeah. It is quite funny, because you will see couples, especially the women, unfortunately, will suddenly grab the man's hand or whatever, you know, and it's like you've got nothing to worry about. Thank you. I can get my own love. Thank you. Um, but it is quite funny to see things like that happening. Um, occasionally, but otherwise. Oh, honestly, you know, nobody's interested. Everyone's just getting on and like I said, if anybody's looking at you is because they're jealous. That's the only reason I was trying to do your life and not sat here with this miserable Git. I that.

Terri Reynolds  29:46

And obviously that's not, you know, yeah, very, very happy, but yes, yeah, yes, yeah, you know. And, and then, when it comes to taking a trip, do something like you did, you know, go on an all inclusive for the first. Time, so you've got everything planned for you. And I think that's a great way to do it. You know, back in my day, I don't think all inclusive was a thing then, but, but, you know, that's, that's a great way to do it. You know, book yourself a flight, or go on a tour with a particular group. And, you know, they literally sort everything out for you. So, and there's loads of groups out there anyway, and that's the way to do it. You know, go off for a week, find your feet, see how much you love it, because you will before you even come back. Another one.

Sarah Elizabeth  30:32

So true, isn't it? It's like a bit of a bug.

Terri Reynolds  30:36

And there's loads of like women friendly groups and all that. I mean, go onto Facebook, the solo groups on Facebook that you can join. And you know, there's even solo groups for women, for in their 30s, in their 40s and their 50s and their 60s. You know, there's all groups on there that you can join. You know, all like minded people. And invariably, what they do is get together and go often in a group, you know, meet them, you know, because they're all it's the first time they've done it. So, you know, why don't we all do it together? So there's plenty out there. You know,

Sarah Elizabeth  31:08

two way to build confidence, isn't it?

Terri Reynolds  31:10

Oh yes, yes. Because once you've got that confidence, nobody can take it away from you.

Sarah Elizabeth  31:16

Absolutely. It's a

Terri Reynolds  31:19

fantastic feeling, isn't it? I mean, you know, you've experienced it, it's a fantastic feeling. And, yeah, once you've done it, once you just want to do it

Sarah Elizabeth  31:27

again. Definitely. What do you think women second guess the most about travelling solo?

Terri Reynolds  31:34

Um, I think it's that thing about being lonely. You know, I'm just gonna be lonely. How on it? Because I've seen this written quite a few times in these groups. You know, where they say, Well, how do you manage? You know, to do that. And like, what if you're lonely, and who do you speak to? And you know, the best thing for me when I was sort of travelling, it's a case of, you can either be on your own or not. You've got the best of both worlds. So if you want some quiet time, some space on your own where you don't interact, you absolutely can, because then you've got, you know, you're not holding yourself accountable to anybody. But if you want, and you do, it's something that you do. Learn to speak to others as you go through your journey. You literally do, you know, how do you speak to others? I mean, you absolutely do. You absolutely will just get talking to other people. And it's the best of both worlds, you know. So never worry about that, that you know you're going to be on your own if you if you travel alone, because it's up to you. Yeah, yeah, the ball is in your court. You call the shot if you want to speak to somebody, speak to them. And, you know, it's not a case of, you know, oh, they can stand something. They'll come up and talk to me. No, it's not necessarily like that, because people don't want to infringe on you. Yeah, you know, so that you would you just go and speak to even if it's just, Oh, Hello, lovely day. That's all you've got to do is you're passing. You know, that breaks the ice, doesn't it? You know, just something that simple, and don't make things bigger than what they are. I think that's what we do, don't we? You know, we're

Sarah Elizabeth  33:09

like everything, yeah, yeah.

Terri Reynolds  33:13

 Gotta walk in front of all of those people and all the rest of it. Now, just told you what I did. I remember the first time I had to do it, and I had it was a great confidence builder for me, because when I came back and changed my career, I had to travel around Wales a lot of the time on my own, stay in hotels, going to different hospitals to train staff. And of course, that was a different situation to travel in, you know, because this was work. And I remember the first time, I wasn't particularly nervous, but I just thought, Oh, it's just different. But I literally, you just walk in, just hold your head up, just have a little look around, see what you want to, sit plunk yourself down Happy Days, you know. And just don't make because we do. We just make things a lot bigger in our heads. I know

Sarah Elizabeth  34:00

completely. Agree. And I think sometimes it is our fears are about what other people are thinking, and like we said, they're not actually thinking anything. But sometimes also it's that fear that if you're alone, then you've got to face yourself, which,

Terri Reynolds  34:22

yes, yeah, you know, there's a good there's good and bad in that. You know, the bad side of it, don't, don't dwell on it when don't let it live in your head or forever. But it's good. It was great for me. It was, and I know it won't be for everybody. It is about, why not face the fears? Why not face it? You know? And if you can't face it in one go do it in bite sized chunks. You're right. That's necessary. I can't, I can't do any more of that, but at least you've learned a little bit and, and, yeah, that that can be off putting, you know? It can be, it could be a case of. Uh, I'm not, I'm not doing it. They're not doing it. And believe me, you know it's, it's that, that saying, isn't it, regret the things you have to and not things you haven't. Because, believe me, if in 20 years time, you'll still sat there thinking, Oh, I should, I should have gone or whatever. Don't, don't be that person. You know, even if you go and try it and you absolutely hate it, at least you've tried it, you know, and you've got it out of your system. You know exactly what it feels like all the rest, or even if you go somewhere. I'm not doing that. I know that's not for me, but it's you've tried it, you know. You know it's not you right? Don't do that type of thing again. Try something else. It is. A lot of it's trial and error. A lot of it is all in your head. And I know it's easy to say, try not to, because it just comes in, doesn't it, but it's all about, you know, try and meditate, you know, or just sit there and relax. I'm not going to meditate, I gotta be honest. But I kind of do sort of meditate, since I'm walking or exercising, that type of thing. All my thought processes go on. You know, when I think about things, have a just literally have some time to yourself so that you can literally collect so if you get yourself into a bit of a state, just find somewhere quiet and literally just sit down, sit there quiet and she can, you know, if you can light candles, that type of thing, great. If not, be somewhere in nature, if you can, even if it sat up against a tree, you know, at the edge of the beach, that type of thing would, you know, makes a massive difference. It just calms you straight down. For me, it's water, as you've seen, you know, I'm right next I've always lived next to water, and that's, that's what does it for me. Everyone's got their own thing. You find yours, and that's, that's your go to then to help you keep calm, get those negative thoughts out, and they're never going to go forever, but just find a way to deal with it. Whichever works for you. Really,

Sarah Elizabeth  37:05

totally I went with that first trip to Cyprus that time, obviously, as I said, I went into an all inclusive Yes. But then every day, once I got confident, I went out and got the bus into the town, got the bus to the harbour and and I talk about this quite a lot. I just remember sitting at that Harbour. It may even have actually been our wedding anniversary. I don't even know what day it was, but it was just I remember sitting there at the harbour in the sun with a glass of wine and my book. And I just remember feeling that my body relaxed. I felt calm for the first time. I felt like I was breathing properly for the first time in I couldn't remember when my jaw everything felt so relaxed. And it was there that I then made the decision to come back home to England and move out of the marital home, because I was still living in in the marital home at that point, but we had a granny annex with his mum in it, and she was absolutely great. But it was, you know, it felt like the Museum of our marriage to me. So that was where I made that decision to move out. And again, it was that transformation of kind of going actually remember who the fuck you are. No, we're not doing it like this. That's what we're doing now. And it was, it was just very, very calming. And, yeah, just, you know that

Terri Reynolds  38:37

it's those moments, isn't it? You know those Oh yeah, moment, yeah. Moments. We don't have them all the time, do we? But when, when we do, it's bloody amazing,

Sarah Elizabeth  38:52

very memorable, very memorable, isn't it?

Terri Reynolds  38:54

Yeah, yeah. It's, it's, and it's a realisation, you know? It's the realisation that that was then. This is now, and this is I need to move forward. Where am I going to go from here? Because, you know you can't stay there. You know, no matter what, what stage of your marriage, your relationship, or wherever it is, you know you can't stay there. You know you need to you need to do something. You know you need to make a change. Whatever that change is, you need to make it, no matter how small. It doesn't have to be a great, big, grandiose gesture. Just the smallest of things can make a massive difference. And it's those smaller things that leads on to the bigger things. 

Sarah Elizabeth  39:35

Absolutely couldn't agree more

Terri Reynolds  39:37

yeah, thank god eh?.

Sarah Elizabeth  39:40

No, I know. So if you could whisper something into the heart of a woman booking her first solo trip after betrayal, what would it be? 

Terri Reynolds  39:54

Have a fucking great time. And I want you to come back and tell me all about it. Look. That.

Sarah Elizabeth  40:03

I love that.

Sarah Elizabeth  40:05

So your work as a travel coach? What does that look like as a travel coach?

Terri Reynolds  40:10

What? What do I do for people? So it's all about finding out. Firstly, what's stopping you? Yeah, what's the issue? Why aren't you out there? So it could be, they just got divorced, just separated. It could be empty nest. Could be corporate burnout. You know, it could be, there's, there's a load of different things. It could be. So let's find out what it is that's stopping you, because you know you want to do it, so why haven't you done it? So have a look at that first, and then let's find out what your transformation is going to be. What do you want the transformation to be? What and what do you want from a trip? What do you want from it? You know, let's forget the small steps building up to get the confidence once you've got there and you want to go off, on off on a trip. What's the transformation you want? You know? What is it you want to experience while you're gone? Do you want to experience new cultures? Do you just want to be in a different land? Do you just want to experience the food? What is it that you want? And once you realise that, what is the transformation you want? What do you want when you come back? What do you want to happen? And nobody ever says I want to come back and be exactly the same as I am now. No, that's true. No one and so we talk about that. And also, before I go on, sometimes that transformation is ends up being something totally different as well. So you think you want, yeah, but then obviously happens while you're away, and when you come back, then it's a different thing.

Sarah Elizabeth  41:48

You realise that it's not what you wanted, after all,

Terri Reynolds  41:50

and it's about managing that then as well when you come back. So it's like, what do you do with this thing? Now, you know, I've got this. I feel transformed. I want to do this. I want to do that. And realise I want to go back to my old life. How do you manage that now? So it's about working through that too, so that we make sure that you don't stay stagnant, and that they do go on and realise their transformation and go on to better things, you know. And you can't ask for anything more than that. And they love that. And I think you know what, as much as like going away and living the journey, it's the talking about it, you know, and arranging it, the planning all of that. Now I'm not a travel agent, so I don't book things. Book the experiences. I can give advice on where to go, and I've got a freebie with all links to different equipment, that type of thing. But I don't book holidays or trips, but it's about the you know. So where would you want to go? And invariably, somebody's got a list, and then I might come up with something. Oh, but what about if you're there? What about that? Never even thought about that while you're there. What about the Oh, yes, you know. So things do change. A lot of people start off with a bit of a plan, you know, they've got some bullet points and an idea, and that's great. That is, you know, as you as you're talking and all these different ideas are coming up and like, oh yeah, what about this? I'm better than that. I love it, as you can tell,

Sarah Elizabeth  43:17

yeah, that's where the excitement starts to build, doesn't it?

Terri Reynolds  43:21

Absolutely, absolutely, you know, like I said earlier, it doesn't have to be. You don't have to get on a 10 hour flight and be gone for three months, you know, that's not. It's not, that's not the only type of social travel, you know, it's, it's just take it easy. You know, do what's right for you. Because if you do it that way, you don't want to scare yourself bloody shitless that you're too scared to even get on the plane eventually. You know, done it. You know, be realistic about adventurer

Sarah Elizabeth  43:49

crying in the toilet at the airport. Yeah.

Sarah Elizabeth  43:57

I mean, I didn't do that, but I know that some women I speak to would be like that, yeah, be like, oh shit. What have I done? I didn't even think about going alone. Actually, I was kind of, I just booked it. And then my eldest son took me to the airport, and as we were kind of pulling up to the airport, he was like, oh shit. You've never been on your own, like living with my parents to living with my ex husband and then the kids and everything is like, oh shit. You've never been on your own. I feel like I should come with you. Like, shut up. It's interesting, isn't it? So if people wanted to come and talk to you as a travel coach, where would they find you? What's the best way? Is it through the podcast,

Speaker 1  44:47

or, yes, the podcast and wanderlust diaries podcast, but my email address is info at Terri Reynolds coaching.co.uk

Sarah Elizabeth  44:54

 and what about social media? 

Terri Reynolds  44:58

I'm Terri Reynolds coaching. Um, I think on Facebook. I'm Terri Reynolds on Instagram, on Instagram as well.

Sarah Elizabeth  45:04

So, yes, amazing. I will put all of those in the show notes as well, in case people would like, yeah, looking to make that solo trip happen. So I've got one last question for you, as you know, I host the divorce book club, yes. So thinking about holiday reads without adding to the to be read list too much. Is there a book that a non fiction book that you would recommend for for us in the divorce book club, or for anyone, as a nice holiday read making that transformation?

Terri Reynolds  45:39

Well, do you know what? I'm not sure. It's a holiday read, but it is about transformation and change. It's our iceberg is melting. It's called by John Cotter, and it's all about transformational change. So the story is, there's an iceberg where all the penguins live. Okay, the iceberg is melting. And over there is a nice, shiny new iceberg. So this one's melting, we'd better, we'd better get over there, you know, and get to that iceberg, because we're just gonna go down with this one. And so most of them did. They went off, but there were quite a few that stayed, you know, and they didn't want to leave the sinking ship, if you like, you know. They want to, because this is what they've always known. They're too scared to go and try something new. They just want to say because this is what they know, you know. And so, of course, they they ended up staying on this iceberg that was melting, and the others went and experience the change. It's all about change. So mentally, the ones that stayed couldn't face the change that they had to go through and the transformation of going over to the new iceberg. But of course, those leaders that wanted to make the change and were brave enough to do it went over to the and it's all about buy in as well with leadership. You know, if you've got somebody who's leading and who's somebody who's got that the right mindset, and people will follow if they believe in you, if they believe in you, they will follow, you know, but you have to have that buy in. But this is all about change, and it's about not just staying the same, not staying stagnant, not just doing the same thing every single day, all the time, just because it's there. So I that kind of resonated. 

Sarah Elizabeth  47:32

Sounds a fantastic book

Terri Reynolds  47:35

that booked it. Yes, it's a new little one as well. It's not a great big book, but it was, you know, it was, I just found it, and because it was penguins as well. I mean, what's not to love penguins? About a book that I read? It is, it is fiction, and it's called, Are You Experienced? Okay, I can't think of the author, and it's about a couple. I think it is going off to India and travelling around India. And it's hysterical. I read that before. I've read it since I've been back as well. I William Sutcliffe. I think his name is the author. It's hilarious. So if anybody's thinking of going to India at all. Please read this book.

Sarah Elizabeth  48:24

Are You Experienced? 

Terri Reynolds  48:26

Are You Experienced? It's called Yes,

Sarah Elizabeth  48:29

amazing. Okay, well, that's the to be read list as well, but maybe for holiday, that sounds like a good

Terri Reynolds  48:37

one. Yes. Thank you. Oh no, you're welcome. It's been great. I've loved it.

Sarah Elizabeth  48:47

Enjoyed having you on, and I'm going to come on your podcast.

Terri Reynolds  48:50

I know you're coming online next so we can carry the conversation on. I mean, as you can tell,

Sarah Elizabeth  48:56

absolutely I've loved it. Thanks so much, Terry. It's so good to have you on and I will be back in everyone's beautiful earbuds again next time. So loads of love. Bye. You.